Tormented

Do you ever feel like pulling a heavy blanket over you, and wanting to hide in a very dark place?  Maybe you've got a bottle of wine with you or something else that makes you feel good.   

It's okay.  I've been there. 

Nobody to talk to, nobody understands, leave me alone, what's the point of even talking to anybody,  anymore because nobody has a clue as to how I'm feeling, right?  

You are experiencing something that will continue to define you as a human being, (emotions) someone who is vulnerable, someone who is having trouble accepting things, someone who was taught to believe in something but, somehow, now his or her trust has been betrayed, someone you looked up to is now someone to be feared, or something you believed in has now proven to be false.   

When you lose all trust in someone or something it's a big deal.

I'm here to help because I know.  I've been struggling with this trust thing my whole life.

The dark you're experiencing is nothing to be afraid of.  It's actually a womb where we are able to go and hide in order to sort things out.  (Think of depression).

It is there for us to see us to help us through a period in our lives where what we perceive is impenetrable or the seemingly impossible as we grope our way along a darkened path.       

Whatever it is that brought you here to this dark place, think of it not as something negative or to be feared but as something positive to you regaining a healthy balance in your life.

You are not an earthworm but a firefly who metamorphosis at just the right time in order to let his or her light shine.  

I was prompted this evening, after I had gone to bed, to get up and post this because I felt there was someone in need of hearing this.   

Whoever you are, you are in the process of self discovery and will do what is necessary to get yourself back on track.

First Faith and then Trust, 

         ~Blessings,
               NIghtshade

Deep Dive

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall
"Delving Into The Deeper Self"

There is no rigid definition to Life. 

You are the Wanderer, the One who wants answers, the One with so many questions regarding Life's  who's, why's, where's and what's.   

You've waited so long, desperately trying to figure yourself out and make answers fit questions but nothing adds up.  You don't know it yet but you've done your time, completed your homework and are now ready to cross a hidden threshold.     

You've climbed up the ladder and are standing on the end of a diving board looking down at the clear blue water below.  Now you're wondering what will happen once you leave the safety of this diving board.  What awaits me once I surrender myself into moving forward as I take this deep dive?     

What awaits you is a clear path, a transfiguration, a transformation, a deeply personal and moving metamorphosis  bringing all separate parts of you together.  Your long separation over and all your questions  answered in this poignant moment of rebirth.  You finally come face to face with every inch of you, everything you've ever experienced or thought or done is made known, lifted up to the light and resolved.    

You push away your fear and steady yourself on the board, breathing in deeply and then slowly exhaling as you feel your body respond.  You sense something extraordinary happening.  You are letting go, finally giving yourself permission to release what doesn't work for you anymore and resolve the many issues that have plagued you for so long.   

You arch forward and feel yourself falling, falling, falling and then, nothingness.  

This deep, dark, pure and limitless void you find yourself in is devoid of boundaries and where you finally have an opportunity to make peace with yourself.  It is teeming with possibilities and pregnant with love, forgiveness and compassion providing all the potential needed for creating life.  This space is able to receive one tormented soul and turn it around, allowing it to view both its light and dark sides and bring them together.  Like hesitantly peering into a foggy mirror and seeing one image superimposed over the other.  

Remember the void in which G-d was able to create Heaven and Earth?  Remember The Fool Card (No. Zero) in Tarot?  The Fool Card is the first step of your journey on earth.  It is the void, the empty space, the chamber, the sanctuary, the womb which enabled you to manifest.  This void nurtures and protects each one of us as we slowly emerge from our sanctuary and into the role we will play on earth.   And, Rebirth can happen at any time during a lifetime and at any age.

You've received the answers to your questions:  Life is complex yet simple, light yet dark, strange yet familiar, sorrowful yet joyful.  Life is the who, the what, the why and the where of by which we're here.  Life is us.       
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"And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters".   Genesis 1:v.2