Saturday, August 12, 2017


Something I learned just recently is, a Sense Of Self.    If you bounce around attending one school after the other, living in different houses and rental units like I did, you never really have time to set down roots when growing up.  You're too busy adjusting, making new friends and dealing with anxiety.  Maybe you, personally, are experiencing other problems that are interfering with your failure to connect with who you are.  Later on in life, when it comes to having confidence and meeting life's challenges, you will feel lost and adrift, awash in a sea of confusion and despair.   When we're young we don't give much thought to things like, "who am I or, what is my purpose in life" because it never occurred to us to ask.  So, what should you do?  Start a dialogue with your self and get connected.  Establish a baseline.  Think of yourself as a one person Kick Starter Project.  Look at yourself in the mirror and examine your face, ask questions like, "what do I like to do and what do I do best?  Why am I drawn to basketball or dancing or writing or cooking?"  Maybe the answer is, "because you're good at it".   A point to remember:  "Our lives are not ours until we take ownership of them".  What a waste if we carelessly give them away or they are hijacked by some thing or some one.  Our lives belong to us and no one else.  
     ~ Nightshade        

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

No. 51

Do your dreams contain numbers?  I don't just see the number but hear the number as well.  I did a post just recently entitled "33" because of another dream I had recently.  The number 33 led me to the video of the 33 Chilean Miners who were trapped in 2010 after a cave in.  A video with a message of faith and courage to all of us.  When these dreams occur I don't ignore them as I believe the numbers are prompts containing a message that will manifest itself at the proper time.  This morning my dream had the number 51.  There was an audible voice in the dream that spoke the number to me clearly.    An excellent site on the meaning of numbers is listed here:

Monday, August 7, 2017

I Choose To Be Happy: Lizzie Valasquez at TEDxYouth@Austin

It's Okay, It's Okay

Fading into the universe, I feel myself becoming one with the cosmos.  Its heavy blackness slowly consuming me, covering me like a warm blanket.  There is something to be said for Nothingness as there is a complete absence of fear.  You've been cocooned.  Nothing can harm you.  I glance around at the stars blinking and twinkling all around me.  As I pass through them they seem to say, "congratulations on a job well done."  Boy, if they ever had any inkling of how many times I screwed up in life, how many times I failed and yet, that doesn't matter to them.  They're welcoming me home, "It's okay, it's okay".  Upward and onward I go and then I glance back to earth.  How far, far away home is now.  I have no idea how fast I am going as there is no way of telling.  I am in spirit now, not housed in a physical body.  I think back to my funeral and all the people who attended.  I didn't realize I had so many friends.  My family was wonderful with all they had to do, coping with my sudden death and seeing to all the arrangements.  I remember looking up at their faces as they leaned over me saying their last goodbyes.  Tears were falling and some of them fell on my cheek.  They couldn't hear me but I was saying to them, "It's okay, it's okay."  Looking back on my life I couldn't believe it was so short.  You are born, you live out your life and then you die.  You are remembered for awhile and then even those memories fade.  Everyone gets over you.  I remember the day my sister called, telling me that Dad had passed.  She was on her way to the hospital with him as he was having chest pains.  She had to leave him at the hospital to pick up something she forgot to bring with her.  She was on her way back to the hospital when she received the call that he had just died from a heart attack.  He was 87.  To this day, she is guilt ridden because she wasn't there for him.  Sister please understand that, "It's okay, it's okay.  You were there for him for many years.  Don't blame yourself for the one time you weren't.  It wasn't but a month later I was at my kitchen sink doing dishes when, all of a sudden, I felt Dad standing next to me.  He just sauntered in.  I stood there trying to get a handle on what I was feeling and then we started chatting.  It was just a how are you doing, I miss you sort of thing but the one overriding feeling I got was that this was his own personal goodbye to me as I wasn't able to attend his funeral.  He was there to tell me, "It's okay, it's okay."

Will you do one thing for me today?  No matter where you are, no matter who you are, no matter what you're doing...if you screw up, make a mistake, if you try hard and still fail, if you feel like just giving up and need to take a day off to cry or pound the walls, remember, "It's okay, it's okay."
     ~ Nightshade 

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Estas Tonne - The Song of the Golden Dragon


What is courage?  We've all heard about it yet how many of us actually have it?  Can courage be taught or is it acquired?  And, how would we know we had it unless we were put to the test?    I guess most of us will never know.  When you were growing up, did your parents teach you about it?  Did you learn about courage in school?    Did religion teach about it?  There are accounts of soldiers in battle that faced overwhelming odds and were suddenly filled with courage.  There are reports of ordinary people pulling hapless would be victims from burning cars, emergency personnel risking their lives to save others, somebody wading into an icy pond to rescue a drowning animal and, without hesitation, a person jumping onto railroad tracks to rescue someone lying helpless.   And when you ask these people why they did it, they always reply, "I didn't think twice" or "it's just what I do" or "I'm no hero."  Were these people aware they had any courage in their bodies at the time or did courage just appear?  Could it be that these people were put in the right place at just the right time?  Courage is not all about rescuing others but a great deal of it has to do with rescuing oneself.  How many times was it a good thing to say no to something you knew was bad but just couldn't bring yourself to say it?  How many times did you need to apologize but just couldn't muster up the courage to do it?    Could it be that fear manifests courage?  How many times did it take courage to do something you feared?  Did it occur to you that maybe you will be the one called upon with the courage necessary to help someone through a desperate situation?  None of us know when we're going to encounter something that will test us.  In those instances we will experience either the fight or flee mentality.  Maybe, just maybe, when those instances pop up you will be there and expressly for the purpose of showing the rest of us that one ordinary person with courage is capable of extraordinary things.
      ~ Blessings,